Valentine’s Day Purrs
Life Vest Inside - Kindness Boomerang - "One Day"
Sometimes I lay
Under the moon
And thank God I’m breathing
Then I pray
Don’t take me soon
‘Cause I’m here for a reason
The season of Love is upon us. Cupid, Valentine’s Day Cards, chocolates, and sweet poetry meant to be whispered in our ears over these chocolates…and candles if our fingers are adept enough at lighting them. Yes, I know it is now coined a “Hallmark Holiday,” but you see–you’re reading words from a hopeless romantic who was engaged at this time last year. (Note: I am still single). Still, the sight and smell of chocolate and candles make me swoon: I admit it–I am a hopeless romantic and would never say no to chocolate, candles, or a poem written just for me.
I may be single, but I do smile when I see gestures of love on television, or two people holding hands as they walk down the street. This year, I will be spending the day with who else but my cat, Bridget. The day falls on a Tuesday and not much gets me to trudge out in the cold on a Tuesday without a really good reason, which would include a trip to the store to buy chocolate, but when I look up the definition of Valentine, this catches my eye. I read and Bridget purrs beside me.
Valentine (noun)
An expression of affection, especially romantic affection, usually in the form of greeting card, gift, or message given to a person the object of affection, especially on February 14th.
It’s not Merriam-Webster, nor does it have the origins of the day, and Valentine’s Day is the month of romance, just try to argue that point between two people holding hands over candles, chocolate, AND pizza at a restaurant.
Still, the heart weaves what the heart needs and I need to hold onto the idea that this is the month of “Affection.” Wouldn’t it be lovely if we were kinder to ourselves? Wouldn’t it be even better if we were kinder to each other and not just in picture-perfect Instagram posts? Wouldn’t it be good if we showered each other in candlelight all year long, weaving that into our daily fabric we clothe ourselves in? The song I quoted at the top of this post was brought to my attention by my buddy, Jimmy, a few years ago. Jimmy loves everybody. All the time. I was watching television with him and he said, “ya gotta watch this, Jon.” In my last year of secondary teaching, I showed “One Day” on Valentine’s Day to my middle school kids. We didn’t make cards or read poetry. We simply watched and wrote out one act of kindness we pledged to achieve during the 2022 year on post-it notes.
Tomorrow, I have another speech therapy session and we are noticing improvement. I receive compliments that “I sound great today and will sound even better tomorrow,” which is why I’m talking about kindness. I appreciate those words from family and friends so much, but I ask them to let me enjoy today, because what I do today, I cannot necessarily do tomorrow. Through my illness, my writing, my teaching, my acting–I cannot hide my changing body–but I can caption the picture as something good or something bad. I choose good, but in reality, as the hours count down in the day, I do feel weaker. Speech becomes more difficult. Breathing becomes a shade darker; and I rest. That’s the kindest thing I can do for myself and for everyone around me.
Sometimes, I choose to caption these moments as what they are, but my body just speaks for itself and weaves a different narrative. But in the end, after resting, I come back to kindness and affection; the same I would show to others. I choose to watch my Netflix shows on teen angst, I choose to spend the night petting my cat, I choose to not submit my work to another literary magazine on these nights. And other nights, I choose to do all those things because they are the kindest things I can do for myself. It took 42 years to learn this. On Tuesday, I go in as a substitute; I’ll see if my kids remember their post-it pledges.
So, I lie in bed watching Absolutely Fabulous with a Think protein bar at 10 in the evening while wearing my stretched out “Grumpy Cat” t-shirt and running shorts on, though I don’t run–I can stand though–and this is my affection. Bridget purrs. This is my kindness to myself that I accept from this little creature and she from me. This is my Valentine’s Day whenever I remember to do these things, and oftentimes I forget and stress out instead. If I can’t be kind to myself, how can I be kind to anyone else? Let’s be our own Valentine’s all year round, and if we choose to accept that kindness from someone else, romantic or platonic, let’s toast some chocolate to that.
