I Don’t Wait for Permission

A Silent Love Letter — An introduction and press release.

I’ve never been one to wait for permission to go for what I want. I suppose it’s because I was bullied in my elementary and middle school years. My nickname was Jon-a-Fat. During band practice, my trumpet spent more time on the floor than in my hands because someone else threw it on the floor. My mom permitted me to defend myself when others did little to help. I suppose that’s why I’m the teacher who offers both a shoulder to cry on and takes a hard stance on bullies. I do my best to defend others. 

When I took my first stumble in Wal-Mart nine years ago, I knew something was wrong. Legs don’t just go out from under you. Hands don’t just pulse for no reason. I, along with my family, fought for every test available to get an answer that ended with me getting an MRI that showed an abnormality that prompted a specialist to take me seriously. I defended my health. 

When the pandemic hit, I returned to school remotely for the MFA I put off for 16 years. Through the years, I had journals, scraps of paper, post-its, sketch pads, an assortment of quotes, fragments of short stories, and a one-act play performed by a local theatre ensemble. Through this fragmented writing came disjointed health. My arms worked, but my legs didn’t. My legs worked, but my arms were uncoordinated. My voice began to shake as my esophagus spasmed. Still, if it’s not visible on a test, it doesn’t exist. I had to fight for answers. My family fought for me when words failed to come out of my mouth. I defended my fight for answers. I defended my voice. 

I had so many stories to tell when I was admitted to my MFA program that I relished the structure my professors gave with workshop deadlines and the opportunity to receive feedback on most of my projects during my four-year journey to graduation. Besides my thesis, which I’m still querying, one story sat dormant inside me: love. I workshopped a story about a pivotal night in my 20s that never left me. I took an interest in flash fiction or flash nonfiction and micro-poetry, sharing snippets of a relationship I had on social media looking for an outlet for a love that ended but never left me. And like all great love stories, other love influences us along the way, which is perfect for the creative part of my emphasis, creative nonfiction. Thus, “A Silent Love Story” was born. 

My illness is unpredictable.

Love is unpredictable.

Life is fragmented and messy, ugly and gorgeous, woeful and joyous. 

Writing allows me to weave these emotions into something good, something positive, something we can share when it begins to rain. 

Like my health, I didn’t wait for permission. I decided to take my dormant, fragmented collection of love, which lay fragmented on Instagram and Facebook and marked up in a workshop, and make it my debut chapbook because if not now, when?

I defend my life, and that includes the words in my heart. Now, I give them to you and hope they put something back together inside you that lies fragmented and unspoken. 

Warmly, 

Jonathan 

Press Release for “A Silent Love Letter”

Sometimes, love stories don’t unfold beneath starlit skies or on sandy beaches—they bloom in the quiet corners of a gay pub, over slices of pizza, cold beer, and midnight kisses shared beneath the hum of a jukebox. In this profoundly intimate prose poetry chapbook, two men find solace in each other, wrapped in laughter, fleeting moments of connection, and the quiet understanding only love can bring. But when daylight comes, one disappears, leaving the other to navigate the wreckage of heartbreak, loss, and self-discovery. As he faces the reality of a life-changing illness, he must untangle the past—was it ever love or just a beautiful illusion? Can friendship survive unrequited love? Can broken trust ever heal? Can hope survive?

✨ What’s inside:
📖 42 digital pages of lyrical, intimate prose
💫 Stories of queer love, longing, and self-discovery
❤️ A journey through vulnerability, resilience, and healing

Raw, tender, and profoundly human, A Silent Love Letter explores themes of love and loss, vulnerability, forgiveness, and the courage to hope again. For readers of LGBTQ romance, introspective poetry, and melancholic love stories, this collection is a whispered confession, a heart laid bare—an intimate love letter never sent.

I’m offering A Silent Love Letter at 20% off until Monday, March 10, 2025, to celebrate the launch. It's just $6.40.

Get your copy here: https://www.jonathanmichaelsaucedo.com/book-launch.