Something Blue
Series 2: The Ellipsis
“They’re your kids now. You’ll love them.”
It has been 21 days since I stepped foot inside my school. I stood in the multipurpose room the day after graduation, helping a student measure lines on a flat that would be painted for production when my principal called me over.
“Jonathan, this is Stephanie.” I knew my successor had been hired and would be touring the building soon, but a stone settled in my stomach as I smiled, “Welcome!”
It’s overwhelming to take a first official tour of a school and meet your predecessor face to face, and her face said all of that and more. She nodded a hello with a shy smile.
“It’s great to meet you. I shared my Google Drive with you and you are welcome to any resources you see. If you want none of it, feel free to chuck it. I highlighted the Common Core State Standards that we have been working on. I’ll be around subbing but it’s your room now.” She looked down. Maybe she knew I was sick.
“I left you a little welcome basket of school supplies. Just some paper, pencils, and things. Nothing big.” She nodded nervously.
“They’re your kids now. You’ll love them.”
It was like seeing your ex with their new boyfriend when you look your worst, but what can you do? I limped down the hall an hour later, sneaking a glance at my empty room as I headed out the door toward my ride. I looked away quickly. There was a pain seeing the empty space that was palpable. Lonely like a bar at last call when you turn around and all your friends have already left. Our spaces change so suddenly. So unexpectedly.
I stayed too long at the party and now I needed to go home.
It is time to figure out what to do next–what I feel next needs to be sorted because I have no idea. It’s been 24 years and an ocean of adventures since becoming an adult. I look at my planner and it’s blank. What’s a teacher, actor, writer…person to do in their next act except live it? I look to the sky and the words pour forth. I’m living somewhere in the middle of life amongst the unknown, the unspoken, my ellipsis…this is where I currently live.
“…Something blue is that curtain between reality and magic, earth and the heavens, here and eternity. The curtain we must all pass through in one way or another—our awareness. Birth. Death. Laughter. Pain. Health. Sickness. Our before and after. Something blue is where the story both begins and ends. Bursting from a moment of silence into endless shades of brilliant tones of possibility—this is where faith and hope reside.”
Empty classroom being prepared for a new teacher
